Self-Care Isn't Luxury
- Kaiana Lewis
- 3 days ago
- 5 min read
As I developed more of Earth Garden Flower Shop's identity in 2024, I began noticing an interesting pattern.
Whenever I asked people about self-care, many of their answers started with the same phrase: "When I get my money right..."
When I get my money right, I'll start getting massages.
When I get my money right, I'll take vacations.
When I get my money right, I'll buy flowers more often.
When I get my money right, I'll finally take care of myself.
At first, I didn't think much of it.
But after hearing it over and over again, something began to bother me.
People weren't simply postponing a massage.
They were postponing peace.
They were postponing rest.
They were postponing care.
They had unconsciously decided that self-care belonged to a future version of themselves.
A version with more money.
More freedom.
More resources.
More margin.
And honestly?
It hurt me.
Not because I thought everyone should be buying flowers every week.
Not because I thought everyone needed a spa membership.
But because so many people seemed convinced, they weren't allowed to care for themselves until they could afford luxury.
And I couldn't understand why.
Maybe it's because of how I was raised.
Maybe it's because I've spent years reading about emotional wellness, restorative activities, and caring for the mind, body, and soul.
But when I hear someone say they can't practice self-care because they don't have enough money, something inside me wants to stop them and say:
"Wait. That's not what self-care is."
Because throughout this series, we've been discovering something important.
Self-care isn't selfish.
Self-care isn't laziness.
And self-care isn't luxury either.
In fact, I would argue that self-care has very little to do with money at all.
Because self-care is less about what you do and more about what it accomplishes.
Remember our definition from the first post:
Self-care is the intentional act of releasing what you carry so that your mind can rest and your soul can breathe.
Nowhere in that definition does it mention money.
Nowhere does it require a luxury resort.
A massage package.
A shopping spree.
Or a five-star experience.
Those things can certainly be forms of self-care.
But they aren't requirements for self-care.
Because the outcome matters more than the activity.
And that's where I think many of us get stuck.
We've confused self-care with expensive experiences.
We've mistaken restoration for luxury.
We've assumed peace has a price tag.
But some of the most restorative moments of my life have cost almost nothing.
A quiet walk.
A warm cup of tea.
A long prayer.
A bubble bath.
Watching the sunrise.
Cooking a comforting meal.
Sitting on the porch while the world slows down for a moment.
None of those required wealth.
Most of them only required time.
And perhaps that's the real cost of self-care.
Not money.
Attention.
Presence.
Intentionality.
Sometimes I imagine what I would do if someone told me they couldn't afford self-care.
I don't think I would argue with them.
I don't think I'd try to convince them with statistics or definitions.
Instead, I'd simply invite them along.
Maybe we'd take a drive through the Smoky Mountains.
Roll the windows down.
Breathe deeply.
Listen to the quiet.
Maybe we'd sit on a park bench and talk about life.
Maybe I'd invite them over to my house. I'd make something warm and comforting to eat. Maybe sweet potatoes with honey. Maybe soup. Maybe a hot dessert afterward.
We'd put on face masks that cost a few dollars from Walmart.
Turn on a movie.
Light a candle.
Laugh.
Rest.
And when the evening was over, maybe they'd realize something.
The most valuable thing they experienced wasn't purchased.
It was created.
The peace.
The connection.
The stillness.
The breathing room.
None of that came from luxury.
It came from intention.
And maybe that's what I wish more people understood.
Self-care doesn't belong to wealthy people.
It belongs to people.
It belongs to exhausted mothers.
College students.
Single fathers.
Entrepreneurs.
Teenagers.
Retirees.
People working three jobs.
People living paycheck to paycheck.
People grieving.
People healing.
People growing.
People trying.
In other words:
All of us.
Because self-care was never designed to be a reward for becoming successful.
It was meant to sustain us while we're becoming.
And perhaps that's why it matters so much.
Because life doesn't pause until we're financially comfortable.
Stress doesn't wait.
Grief doesn't wait.
Burnout doesn't wait.
So why should care wait?
Why should peace wait?
Why should restoration wait?
Maybe the most radical thing we can do is stop postponing our well-being until some future version of ourselves finally "deserves" it.
Maybe we can start today.
With what we already have.
With the time we already possess.
With the simple things already within reach.
Because self-care isn't luxury.
It's essential.
And essentials shouldn't have to wait.
Reflection Questions
When you think of self-care, what activities immediately come to mind?
Do any of those activities require money? Why do you think that is?
Have you ever postponed caring for yourself because you felt you couldn't afford it?
What are three forms of self-care that cost little or nothing?
Which restorative activities have had the greatest impact on your life?
What would self-care look like if luxury wasn't part of the equation?
Are you waiting for a future version of yourself to start caring for your present self?
What is one simple act of self-care you can practice this week with what you already have?
Closing
Thank you for reading the fourth post in our Self-Care Series. If you enjoyed this article, I'd love to invite you to join The Green House. It is a space where I help ambitious women recover from the emotional weight of modern life.
Every week you'll receive a 3-minute reset for your nervous system, one short devotional, one practical self-care habit, and one journal question to help you slow down.
So far, we've discovered that self-care isn't selfishness, isn't laziness, and isn't luxury. It's something much simpler. And much more important.
It's the intentional practice of making space to release what we carry so that our minds can rest and our souls can breathe.
My hope is that this series gives you permission to stop postponing peace.
Not until next year.
Not until the promotion.
Not until the raise.
Not until life gets easier.
But today.
Right where you are.
With what you already have.
Until next time,
Take a deep breath.
And remember:
Peace doesn't have to be purchased.
Sometimes it simply has to be received.
Previous Posts
Self-Care Part 1: What Self-Care Actually Is
Self-Care Part 2: Self-Care Isn't Selfishness
Self-Care Part 3: Self-Care Isn't Laziness
Next Post
Self-Care Part 5: Coming Soon
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