When I get my money right, I'll start getting massages. When I get my money right, I'll take vacations. When I get my money right, I'll buy flowers more often. When I get my money right, I'll finally take care of myself. At first, I didn't think much of it. But after hearing it over and over again, something began to bother me. People weren't simply postponing a massage. They were postponing peace. They were postponing rest. They were postponing care.

I think many of us do the same thing spiritually. We read the chapter. We say the prayer. We highlight the verse. We attend church. We listen to worship music. We complete all the right actions. But our hearts never actually slow down enough to encounter God. We're doing things with Him. Without being with Him.

I hate that for us. Because somewhere along the way, many of us started believing that resting means we're lazy. And if self-care involves resting, slowing down, or stepping away from work for a moment, then self-care must be lazy too. Right?

And before long, I wasn't aware of how I felt anymore. I was aware of deadlines. I was aware of customer needs. I was aware of sales goals. I was aware of responsibilities. But I wasn't aware of me. Maybe you've experienced that too. Maybe you're raising children. Maybe you're caring for aging parents. Maybe you're leading a ministry. Maybe you're building a business

I don't think we often say this phrase out loud, but I think our actions show it.... "Self-care is selfish." And honestly, I understand why some people internally believe this. Self-care appears to benefit only one person. It's often associated with bubble baths, shopping trips, spa days, vacations, and nights out with friends. From the outside, it can look indulgent. Unnecessary. Even irresponsible.

Because somewhere along the way, we became experts at paying attention to everything around us and strangers to what is happening within us. And I think that's where autopilot begins. Not with a dramatic collapse. Not with burnout. Not with some huge life event.

As I grew up, I realized there were many subconscious messages attached to the term. So many, in fact, that even today I often ask people a simple question: What does self-care mean to you?